I was born Valerie Mary Shaw
on 14 June 1941, and lived the first sixteen years of my life in Heckmondwike. I felt out of place in the family where Fate had placed me, and remained convinced that one day my ‘real’ parents would come and collect me.
Unsuccessful in my attempts to be stolen by the gypsies who often camped in our lane, I left home at the first opportunity, and set myself up in a bedsit in Bradford. One year later, with my worldly belongings in two carrier bags, I went to London. Threatened with a knifing at the hands of a woman whose sailor boyfriend I stole, he and I fled on the midnight train to Essex, where his mother took us in and saw to it that we were married. I had known him three weeks. Six days later he joined his ship and left for Hong Kong.
Enjoying my role of romantic eighteen-year old bride, I was surprised to receive his letter informing me that he preferred men to women, and that now he was back on board ship, realised marriage was not for him. That was the start of a life that to some may seem like a catalogue of disasters, but which turned out to be rich pickings for a future writing career.
Score so far: Husbands 4, Children 2, Grandchildren 4
Of the four husbands, only two were British - Nos 1 and 2 - the sailor being followed by a jazz drummer who was a council rent collector by day - the man who proposed through a letter box. No 3 was an American marathon runner and art historian, and No 4 a German from the Black Forest. The marriages lasted 6 years, 6 weeks, 6 months and 17 years respectively. Some of the blame for this may be laid at the door of my astrological chart, according to Teri King (in her book 'Sunrise Sunset'). Her description of my combination of Sun sign/Rising sign is uncannily accurate:
“You have the mind of a grasshopper and a heart like ice. Your character is erratic and nerve-wracking for anyone who relies on you. Working for you is like signing your soul over to a lunatic. At your most engaging you are cheerfully diabolical. In marriage, the best your partner can hope for is a quick divorce. Your offspring will grow up wishing they had no such parent.”
I walked out on No 1 when the kids were 5 and 3, surviving somehow as a single mother from 1966 onwards, working as an office temp in term time, staying home and claiming National Assistance (as it was then) in the holidays. At 34, when they were 14 and 12, I decided to follow my passion for food, and enrolled on a City and Guilds catering course. After the first year I was advised to apply to Leeds Polytechnic to study Hotel Management.
Although under tremendous personal and financial pressures, I had found my métier, and came out as one of the top students, though wondering who on earth would employ someone so over-qualified and under-experienced. All my friends spent the last weeks of college writing off for management posts, but I knew I had to get some basic experience - kitchen staff would run rings round anyone who was a complete novice. My one dread was ending up in a works canteen in Keighley, so I almost bit the hand off a local jazz player, when he told me they needed help in the kitchens at Flamingoland Zoo, where he had a summer season. They offered me the post of Sweet Chef, and I swelled with pride to be dignified with such a title! For the next six years I moved around, often working away from home, and choosing my jobs for the interest they offered. I ran, managed and in some cases set up from scratch, kitchens in such diverse places as a country hotel, a top-notch department store, a dinner-dance venue, a converted mill on the Yorkshire moors, a mediaeval castle, a gothic mansion and a sports and leisure club. Many of the weird and wonderful characters I met feature in my books.
1982 was a catalyst year. I moved to Pendle to take a job I did not want, and knew I would walk out of. A man was involved, of course.
pictures, top: 1, aged 3; 2, aged 15; 3. with children, Diana and Graham, at my brother's wedding; 4, at Harlaxton Hall with Sappho
pictures, below: 1, on the Walls at York; 2, in the garden, home made bench; 3, cycling in the Dales; 4, on Hadrian's Wall
on 14 June 1941, and lived the first sixteen years of my life in Heckmondwike. I felt out of place in the family where Fate had placed me, and remained convinced that one day my ‘real’ parents would come and collect me.
Unsuccessful in my attempts to be stolen by the gypsies who often camped in our lane, I left home at the first opportunity, and set myself up in a bedsit in Bradford. One year later, with my worldly belongings in two carrier bags, I went to London. Threatened with a knifing at the hands of a woman whose sailor boyfriend I stole, he and I fled on the midnight train to Essex, where his mother took us in and saw to it that we were married. I had known him three weeks. Six days later he joined his ship and left for Hong Kong.
Enjoying my role of romantic eighteen-year old bride, I was surprised to receive his letter informing me that he preferred men to women, and that now he was back on board ship, realised marriage was not for him. That was the start of a life that to some may seem like a catalogue of disasters, but which turned out to be rich pickings for a future writing career.
Score so far: Husbands 4, Children 2, Grandchildren 4
Of the four husbands, only two were British - Nos 1 and 2 - the sailor being followed by a jazz drummer who was a council rent collector by day - the man who proposed through a letter box. No 3 was an American marathon runner and art historian, and No 4 a German from the Black Forest. The marriages lasted 6 years, 6 weeks, 6 months and 17 years respectively. Some of the blame for this may be laid at the door of my astrological chart, according to Teri King (in her book 'Sunrise Sunset'). Her description of my combination of Sun sign/Rising sign is uncannily accurate:
“You have the mind of a grasshopper and a heart like ice. Your character is erratic and nerve-wracking for anyone who relies on you. Working for you is like signing your soul over to a lunatic. At your most engaging you are cheerfully diabolical. In marriage, the best your partner can hope for is a quick divorce. Your offspring will grow up wishing they had no such parent.”
I walked out on No 1 when the kids were 5 and 3, surviving somehow as a single mother from 1966 onwards, working as an office temp in term time, staying home and claiming National Assistance (as it was then) in the holidays. At 34, when they were 14 and 12, I decided to follow my passion for food, and enrolled on a City and Guilds catering course. After the first year I was advised to apply to Leeds Polytechnic to study Hotel Management.
Although under tremendous personal and financial pressures, I had found my métier, and came out as one of the top students, though wondering who on earth would employ someone so over-qualified and under-experienced. All my friends spent the last weeks of college writing off for management posts, but I knew I had to get some basic experience - kitchen staff would run rings round anyone who was a complete novice. My one dread was ending up in a works canteen in Keighley, so I almost bit the hand off a local jazz player, when he told me they needed help in the kitchens at Flamingoland Zoo, where he had a summer season. They offered me the post of Sweet Chef, and I swelled with pride to be dignified with such a title! For the next six years I moved around, often working away from home, and choosing my jobs for the interest they offered. I ran, managed and in some cases set up from scratch, kitchens in such diverse places as a country hotel, a top-notch department store, a dinner-dance venue, a converted mill on the Yorkshire moors, a mediaeval castle, a gothic mansion and a sports and leisure club. Many of the weird and wonderful characters I met feature in my books.
1982 was a catalyst year. I moved to Pendle to take a job I did not want, and knew I would walk out of. A man was involved, of course.
pictures, top: 1, aged 3; 2, aged 15; 3. with children, Diana and Graham, at my brother's wedding; 4, at Harlaxton Hall with Sappho
pictures, below: 1, on the Walls at York; 2, in the garden, home made bench; 3, cycling in the Dales; 4, on Hadrian's Wall
I did not know it at the time, but astrology had a hand in this.
My Sun had arranged a tryst with the Dark God Pluto, and as for anyone to whom this happens, they were conspiring to give me the makeover of all time. What was to happen next would crack open the protective casing I had built around me in order to cope with what the world threw at me. I came to Pendle a practical, hard-working career woman. But I was to change into a spiritual being in tune with nature, the universe and everything, the modern equivalent of the Wise Woman of old, who sorted out the ills of her community with her mystical powers.
After the predicted walkout, I took time out on a cycle journey round England, where I pitched up by chance at the village of Little Walsingham. I had no idea it was a shrine to the Virgin Mary (if I had, I would have steered well clear!) and the signposts gave nothing away with their cryptic ‘OLW’ (Our Lady of Walsingham). I had personal troubles at the time, and decided to give the shrine a whirl to see if it would help. It didn’t. I was a complete unbeliever, and looking at all the tablets covering the walls ‘Thanks to OLW for blessings received’ all I thought was, ‘Idiots’. Yet, through a chance meeting with one of the Guardians of the Shrine, a miracle occurred for me, and my problem was solved. After that it was Open Day for all the Spirit Guides, Angels and Celestial Beings who had been hovering round me all my life, waiting for the chance to get in. It was as though someone had opened the floodgates, and I began to experience all kinds of ‘signs and wonders’ - all of which will be told in my new book ‘A Walk on the Blind Side’.
Other things were happening too, on the more mundane level. I wrote more and more poetry, joined a writing group, met a Performance Poet and went on the circuit.
For the first time in my life, I had leisure and to spare, and joined all kinds of groups, and at an Earth Mysteries meeting I met a man who was to have a huge influence on my spiritual development. He was a practising White Witch - it took him some time to convince me, but eventually I took initiation from him and we practised together, achieving phenomenal success.
Four years later I met my fourth husband, intiated him into the Craft, and we began working together, establishing our own coven which we ran successfully for many years, using our three organic allotments as a meeting place.
With his death in 2006, another new phase of my life began, of which I write in another place.
pictures: below - 1, Wolf and I when we met. 2, our wedding day 10 October 1987. 3, with grandchildren. 4. 2002, women's magazine picture
My Sun had arranged a tryst with the Dark God Pluto, and as for anyone to whom this happens, they were conspiring to give me the makeover of all time. What was to happen next would crack open the protective casing I had built around me in order to cope with what the world threw at me. I came to Pendle a practical, hard-working career woman. But I was to change into a spiritual being in tune with nature, the universe and everything, the modern equivalent of the Wise Woman of old, who sorted out the ills of her community with her mystical powers.
After the predicted walkout, I took time out on a cycle journey round England, where I pitched up by chance at the village of Little Walsingham. I had no idea it was a shrine to the Virgin Mary (if I had, I would have steered well clear!) and the signposts gave nothing away with their cryptic ‘OLW’ (Our Lady of Walsingham). I had personal troubles at the time, and decided to give the shrine a whirl to see if it would help. It didn’t. I was a complete unbeliever, and looking at all the tablets covering the walls ‘Thanks to OLW for blessings received’ all I thought was, ‘Idiots’. Yet, through a chance meeting with one of the Guardians of the Shrine, a miracle occurred for me, and my problem was solved. After that it was Open Day for all the Spirit Guides, Angels and Celestial Beings who had been hovering round me all my life, waiting for the chance to get in. It was as though someone had opened the floodgates, and I began to experience all kinds of ‘signs and wonders’ - all of which will be told in my new book ‘A Walk on the Blind Side’.
Other things were happening too, on the more mundane level. I wrote more and more poetry, joined a writing group, met a Performance Poet and went on the circuit.
For the first time in my life, I had leisure and to spare, and joined all kinds of groups, and at an Earth Mysteries meeting I met a man who was to have a huge influence on my spiritual development. He was a practising White Witch - it took him some time to convince me, but eventually I took initiation from him and we practised together, achieving phenomenal success.
Four years later I met my fourth husband, intiated him into the Craft, and we began working together, establishing our own coven which we ran successfully for many years, using our three organic allotments as a meeting place.
With his death in 2006, another new phase of my life began, of which I write in another place.
pictures: below - 1, Wolf and I when we met. 2, our wedding day 10 October 1987. 3, with grandchildren. 4. 2002, women's magazine picture
